Hrok: Layin' it on think, eh old man?

Grank: Who asked you, stupid turtle...why if I were back in my prime...!

Hrok: Yea, and wendeckas might fly outta my narrow purple butt.

Grank: Bah, stupid turtle...anyways, ok, I was lying through my rotting yellow teeth - this site has nothing to do with nice people, things, or subjects. It's about crochy old men...

Hrok: A crochy old man...

Grank: ...who like to gripe a lot. If you like that sort of thing, as sure tootin as I do, you'll stick around and participate. Otherwise, get the hell out of here! We don't need your kind takin up bandwidth!

Hrok: Yeah, that's going to increase our hits to match Clanworld, keep it up old man...

Grank: Hello? Yes, I'd like to order one turtle BBQ pit...yes, I'll hold...

Hrok: Uh, while he goes on his telephone power trip, let's take a tour, shall we? Wonderful... First off is this area, the Daily Gripe area. We feature our latest conversations about things in Clan Lord, in which we don't always agree...

Grank: Uh, black would be nice, or maybe purple...no, I'd like to charge this purchase to Mastercard...

Hrok:  Hmm, next is our Letters section, which is obviously barren right now (no thanks to Grank here), where we show you some of the letters we get and answer them...

Grank: 79.95? Good Gaia! In my day, we paid that kind of money for an entire friggin town! Oh? Free box of jello you say...

Hrok: ...And last off is our Visit Me area, where you can write us letters or just spam us to death (haze, flame, hate mail, whatever). Uh, well, enjoy for now, I'm sure Grank has more in store (gulp) for you later...

Grank: Ha! Wadda ya think about that turtle boy? The Puddleby Deluxe supreme FlameMaster 3000 with full turtle BBQ'ing power and a free box of jello! Mwhaha...